Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What was the craziest place that you had sex with someone in public?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy bullshit

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I can count

Which race of women are the hottest?

I can read

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Do humans know everything they need to know?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What was your best experience of having your navel touched?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why does it smell so bad? I noticed that when I move around my vagina has a stench. It’s usually a wet liquid, almost like pee. There’re little to no discharge and it doesn’t hurt or itch.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”